Matt Jones
You will find a thousand Youtube videos on "letting go." How to let go of a person? How to let go of outcomes? How to let go to receive more? I've talked about about this a bit in my own video concerning reversed effort. It's about letting go for better outcomes. I talk about Alan Watts the Backwards Law and how focusing on the process is more important than focusing on the end goal. This way you focus more on becoming rather than the desire of purely wanting the outcome. This creates action rather than lack and inaction. The motivation should always be more on the process. I believe in this. It's a counterintuitive approach to getting what you want. This is synonymous to letting go. Letting go can be a useful tool to get more out of your life. But, what about relationships? What about breakups? What about friends? What about the process of things ending. How do I just let it go? I mean what the fuck does that actually mean?
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Are you getting sick of people telling to to "let things go"? Just let it go bro!
How the hell do we do that?
What does that even mean actually, right? Is it something I can physically forcibly remove from my body? How do you expect me to just shift my emotions at the drop of a hat? Not everyone is as cold hearted and can just shift and think positively out of a situation. We are feeling creatures. Emotions are physiological and can't simply be eradicated with positive thinking. It's also just not healthy. Letting go can be good, but it should be treated differently as it pertains to different subjects matters.
Just "letting go" as it pertains to relationships needs to be calculated through a different lens I feel.
I believe letting go is not the solution..
I believe "LETTING IN" is the solution.
I believe letting in is the first step and then you will let go NATURALLY as an after effect.
1) When you focus on letting someone go or letting something go, it leaves you with an empty void.
It's a feeling of lack, like you're losing something rather than gaining something.
2) Letting go makes you feel anxious.
Our brains are hard wired for certainty. It's part of the fight or flight response. Move away from pain and move towards pleasure. Your brain wants consistency. Where's my next meal gonna come from? Do I have a roof over my head, do I have security? Changing lifestyle, changing jobs, there's always that feel of lack and anxiety.
SHIFT YOUR MINDSET WITH THE LIFE 2.0 BLUEPRINT
3) Letting go takes all the work out of actually doing something about the problem.
So you've said i'm just gonna let this person go..... What now? You can get rid of pictures and memorable objects, but that still doesn't completely work. What about your thoughts and memories? Avoiding the problem mentally is only going to bring more of the problem. It brings resistance. What we resist, persists. It's not until you learn to deal with the emotions, dance in the hurricane that you can finally learn to move with it, and carry on with your life. You have to consciously change your focus - which takes work and new repetitive habits.
4) Letting go can be spiteful instead of grateful
Letting someone go can be hard. It can be painful. You might say to yourself I have to let this person go because I just can't think about it anymore - it's too painful, right? So would of you have 10 years of memories and thousands of emotions all wrapped up in it? Then you're supposed to just drop it like a heavy bag and just say goodbye. NO! IT DOESN'T JUST WORK LIKE THAT.
SO, letting go. How do we do that exactly?
As is with the law of attraction, where focus goes, energy flows. When our minds are set to being stuck in the past and feeling sadness and regret, that's what we're affirming in our minds. It's not until we shift that focus to abundance and think of the good, the positive, the next best thing that we can shift.
So let's focus on the next step. If you had a bad breakup, and you're ready, move on to dating again. Get out there and shift your mind to possibility. You might just be pleasantly surprised by meeting someone WAY better for you. The more you do this, the more those familiar feelings of happiness will flow back to you. You move from the anxious to the abundant. It can be a challenging first step, but you start to realize that the story you've been telling yourself in your head just simply doesn't add up anymore.
We will come up with a dozen reasons why somebody is perfect for us rather than focusing on why somebody is bad for us.
Some will tell you attachment is bad. Some will tell you it sets you up for disaster, puts you in a vulnerable position. Well, isn't that kind of the point? To be open and vulnerable and loving? Yes it is. You can't live your life holding a sword up to the world making sure to keep all possible threats at bay. Choosing to love and be in love is a choice. If you want it, you need to realize you will have to deal with the repercussions later on. That's life. It's pleasure. It's pain. It's all beautiful.
Now, I feel there are good attachments and bad attachments. I'm being very particular and pedantic here, but it matters, for clarity. Here are some examples:
-Love and friendships
-Doing good things for others
-Being good at your craft or vocation
-Superficial things (fancy cars and lots of money)
-Fame
-Recognition
1) Instead of focusing on letting go of pain, focus on letting in appreciation.
2) Instead of focusing on letting go of resentment, focus on letting in forgiveness.
3) Instead of focusing on letting go of anger, focus on letting in harmony.
4) Instead of focusing on letting go of depression, focus on letting in more self love.
5) Instead of focusing on letting go of jealousy, focus on letting in happiness for others.
6) Instead of focusing on letting go of judgement, focus on letting in acceptance.
Hope you enjoyed this article. If it helped you, please let me know what you think in the comments. With love and well wishes.
Matt Jones is a writer and entrepreneur with multiple businesses who enjoys inspiring others. He is also a professional musician who has been to over 40 different countries on all 7 continents. His personal mission is to create and inspire. He is from Los Angeles but is now based in Greater London. His latest book "Life 2.0" is available on Amazon.