Updated: Jun 11
What we focus on in life matters. Focusing on the positive instead of the negative will alter your life completely. Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase “where focus goes energy flows.”That means that all of our attention, our emotions, our thoughts, go to that place. Now, this can either be empowering or disempowering. It's a lesson on the power of our minds to dictate our lives ultimately on a daily basis. What we think and see is what we feel and be. It's a consistent habit.
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In this episode I wanted to start with a story about focus which really helps with overall happiness and mindset. Then we will discuss focusing on the positive instead of the negative in life, and i'd also like to share a bit of my own personal story about focus. Also dealing with focus as it pertains to big life changes.
THE BLACK DOT
One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.
The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions–just a black dot in the center of the paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following:
“I want you to write about what you see there.”
The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.
At the end of the class, the professor took all the exams and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students. All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet.
After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor started to explain:
“I’m not going to grade you on this, I just wanted to give you something to think about.
No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same thing happens in our lives. However, we insist on focusing only on the black dot – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend. The dark spots are very small when compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.
Take your eyes away from the black dots in your lives. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with love.”
I'm currently going through alot of changes in my life. Personally, professionally, in relationships and routines. I also live in a new country now, which is in itself a big change. I've consciously made decisions in my life to get out of my comfort zones, and to embrace change, because I knew it would force me to better myself. But sometimes I get uncomfortable with those choices to leave my comfort zones and embrace new horizons. I mean, it's only natural. I've never been one to have regrets or think too much about the past.
But lately, I've been thinking alot of life choices. And, I think we can drive ourselves mad with all the "what if's" and the "whys" and the back and forth.... And what you ultimately realize is... what's the point?
You can't change the past. Where you are is where you are. Right now.... Life is happening all around us.
Time is a gift.
So I've been working on myself. I've been journaling. I've been meditating. I've been taking time to just sit and be present. I've been trying to get back to a place of self love and self care.
I don't think anybody is ever naturally comfortable with change. Our brains just aren't wired that way. It likes consistency - assurance - security. They are hard wired to survive. So, anything that could possibly threaten that gets in the way. So, it's a matter of focus.
I see now that the only choice we have is to fully embrace our life, and focus on the present. Embrace all our choices. Both the good and the bad. Learn from them, and try to carve out a better future for ourselves. Figure out what ultimately is going to make us most happy. Make us most fulfilled. Take concerted time to reflect, then plan. Then, just be present in those choices. Not living in the past, not living in the future. Because living in the past will bring sadness, while living in the future will bring anxiety.
I am always at my most happiest in life when I am completely present. Either when i'm playing with my son at the park, or i'm taking in a nice sunset. Just focusing on being. Not what I will become or what I was. Learning to embrace myself completely and wholly in the space that I currently occupy in the universe.
So, I just wanted to speak to you guys today sincerely about this. I imagine many of you have similar feelings. Maybe you struggle with big life changes in your life right now. Maybe you're wondering how it's all gonna work out. You may feel stuck. You may feel frightened. All I can say is that, you're not alone.
The truth as well is that there may be no easy answer. Sometimes in life things just take patience and time. Loving ourselves and choosing to wake up and allow ourselves be alright with whatever life offers us... However, I also believe it's an issue of attachment.
When we get attached to things, jobs, people, it becomes a part of our identity. However, if you get more comfortable with yourself, and allow yourself to let go easier of those attachments, you can transform. You can shed the skin of the old you and just let it all fall away. That's where i'm choosing to be right now.
Reaffirming to myself that I am strong. I am intelligent. And I am worthy, and I am grateful for so much in my life. So, rather than view change as a problem. View it as an opportunity.. to grow. To develop. To be empowered.
Thank you for reading this you guys. I hope my story has helped you a bit on your own path. Please leave your comments, and remember to hit the subscribe button to be notified for future videos.
Wishing you all love and grace.
Matt Jones is a writer and entrepreneur with multiple businesses who loves inspiring others to reach their full potential. He is also a musician, educator, and world traveler who has been to over 40 different countries on all 7 continents. His personal mission is to create and inspire others around the world to be the best version of themselves.