Matt Jones
Updated: May 15, 2022
Do you struggle daily with your own self-confidence? Are you mad that you don't have more conviction in your everyday life? Does it perhaps make you feel bad about yourself? You know, we are not taught confidence in society. People fail to realize that confidence is a learned skill, rather than something that "just happens naturally." A lack of confidence can destroy your life and rob you of the happiness that you really deserve. So, let's discuss confidence and how we can learn to be more content and confident in our daily lives.
We are not born with confidence.
Confidence is something that is learned.
Most people tend to think of confidence as a personal characteristic that comes naturally,
Rather than a skill, that is supposed to be learned.
It is a behavior, that is shaped by our environment as well as our own thinking.
Some of us are lucky enough to have natural confidence. Some just have it. Some don't however, and you can always tell a confident person from someone who is not.
It's completely normal not to have natural confidence. Sometimes life can be difficult and it weighs us down. However, many just simply choose to accept it and try to carry on with their lives the best they can. But, it does have detrimental effects.
You want to develop a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. With a growth mindset you understand that you are a life long learner. You have skills that can be developed, rather than simply accepted as they are.
We can get better. We can improve.
When we’re young we’re taught to be nice to others, stand up straight, get good grades. Don’t do this, do that instead. Do your homework, do your chores.
When have we ever heard…. be more confident?
It's not always our fault. We may not have been taught about confidence from our family our friends.
Why don’t we learn it in school? Why isn’t it discussed more in society?
Confidence is a learned ability such as playing a sport, or driving a car.
So, why is it important to work on your confidence?
Well, confidence determines your self-worth in your own mind. It's how you feel about yourself.
Confidence helps to attracts success, happiness, friends, relationships.
Confidence allows us to be more content in the world.
We learn to become leaders, and not followers.
We can make decisions and take action with more clarity and conviction.
We become self-empowered.
Confidence comes from the Latin word "fidere," which means "to trust."
It comes from trust in yourself and trust in your own abilities.
Many notable psychologists have said:
The cornerstone for consistent high performance is self confidence.
Self confidence is primarily determined by what a person says to themselves.
It's that constant inner voice.
Either it's building confidence or it's taking it away.
It's important to be aware of this conversation at all times
because it's providing the framework for our lives.
So, we want to start by being aware of our self-confidence and start to actively work on it. When you set that intention, you become more self aware and conscientious.
You are now working on reprogramming your mind.
So, as you live your life day by day and go through different situations you can begin to work on it. You can react differently. You can change your circumstances.
Whether it's a job interview or a social gathering, you can actively begin to practice it and develop it like a muscle. Like a skill. Then you can self evaluate and continue to work on improving it.
So, here are 5 helpful ways I came up with to start working on your confidence today.
Start completing tasks. Whether large or small. Clean your place, start taking active steps towards your goals. Little successes turn into big success, and make you naturally feel more productive, and therefore confident.
Doing something is better than nothing. Just take the first step and start jogging, walking, pushups. Exercise is empowering. Anything to get your blood flowing and into a positive state of mind. Let the endorphins kick in and give you those happy feelings.
Do something you've never particularly done before by standing up for yourself. Rather than avoiding conflict, step into it. If someone says that your goal is stupid, or diminish your self-worth, stand up and face them! Don't just accept it. You can begin to take the power back that you may have lost over the years.
Whatever negativity may come your way, learn to let it just slide off of you. When you're not a slave to what others think about you, you take all the power back.
Start being more assertive in your daily life. Don't worry about it being perfect. Perfection is the enemy of success. We all mistakes. Don't let it cripple you. Look inside yourself, remove doubt, and just go for it. You have nothing to lose. We all live and then we die. You don't want to be 90 years old looking back at your life always saying "what if."
When you start using these tools i've given you, your life will drastically change. And you will realize why you haven't worked more on improving your self-confidence before. It's a game changer.
I have struggled with this in my own life, and that's why I thought it important to share with all of you. It will bring more opportunity and allow you to be more of the person you were meant to be.
So, be confident. Be courageous. You got this. I believe in you. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you did, please leave a nice review and share it..
Matt Jones is a writer and entrepreneur with multiple businesses who loves inspiring others to reach their full potential. He is also a musician, educator, and world traveler whom has been to over 40 different countries on all 7 continents.
His personal mission is to create and inspire. He is from Los Angeles, but is now based in greater London.